This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Screwed.edu
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
