I think my vagina is haunted
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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