HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
