ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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