i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
cat food counts as protein by the way
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
