IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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