at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
