ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
