sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
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Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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