about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
