i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
