we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina