She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
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After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
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No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.