id be glad to
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
