wat bout pragnant strippers??
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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