If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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