Nicole vs. Life
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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