He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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