he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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