do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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