id be glad to
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
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Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
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Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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