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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize