Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
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Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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