I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So many bounce houses so little time
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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