I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
