very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
