I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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