i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
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