I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
FUCK WHALES
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