It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
