He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
