This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
