People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
