Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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