I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
