East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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