so that wasnt chicken after all
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
