You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
