i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
