well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Can you bring me the toilet please
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize