What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
