Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
