I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize