For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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