you guys were way drunker than both of me
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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