even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
