I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
