We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
