She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
