YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
If that was your dad, he is hot
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
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