i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
