i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
