census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
