What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just had sex on a roof
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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