i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
