i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
