So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
