i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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