how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
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Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
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He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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