Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
