After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
