yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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