dude i'm inner monologue high
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
