shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
