that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
