my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
