im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
